This is the month of love. As 14th February approached, my social media was filled with posts of couples celebrating love and singles making jokes about it. It seemed every single influencer/blogger has something to say about romance, relationships and affection.
I remember a couple of years ago, I received this post in an email from Irfan Ullah Khan, a marriage transformation coach from Happy Muslim Family. At that time I was going through a rough patch in my marriage and I had subscribed to a lot of websites, coaches and newsletters on relationships and marriage and Irfan Ullah was one of them. What I liked about his work was that all his advices came with Islamic backing.
When it comes to popular belief about marriage, we women are always reminded of the hadiths implying men to be mijazi khuda (Earthly God) and their right to four marriages and men’s supreme right over the bodies and minds of women after marriage. However I was surprised to discover that contrary to this misunderstood concept , Islam treats marriage as a relationship of mutual respect and trust.
Religiously, the husband is the leader no doubt in this bond but his test is to be a leader who leads his family with mutual understanding and love and not supreme authority.
And what better example of love and affection can we have than our beloved Prophet (P.B.U.H)? If you analyze the Prophet’s (P.B.U.H) behavior with his wives, you would be shocked to discover that it is completely opposite to what we teach men these days. That is why for this Valentine’s day I am sharing this story of the love between the Prophet (P.B.U.H) and his wife. This is the story of how Tayammum came out to be as a substitute for Wudhu (Islamic ablution) and the reason behind this is the love of a husband for his wife Subhan Allah!
The Love Story Behind Tayammum
The beloved Rasul Ullah (SAW) and the noble Sahaba R.A. were out on expedition, and as was his practice, Rasul Ullah (SAW) would take one of his blessed wives along.
The beloved Rasul Ullah (SAW) and the noble Sahaba R.A. were out on expedition, and as was his practice, Rasul Ullah (SAW) would take one of his blessed wives along. Aisha Siddeeqa R.A. was extremely happy to have accompanied her wonderful husband (SAW) on this trip.
They passed a place called Zaatul Jaish and Aisha RA realised her necklace was missing. As any woman who has lost jewelry will know, it creates panic! She rushed to Rasul Ullah (SAW) in her distress.
So what did he do?
Did he swat away her female concern?
Did he tell her so what’s the big deal?
Did he shush her because he SAW was at the head of a huge numbered expedition?
He tried to soothe her concerns and he stopped the entire army…
… … Yes, Rasul Ullah (SAW) stopped the entire army.
… To look for his wife’s necklace.
… .. Oh my Nabi, and they still try to vilify you, Sallallahu alaik.
Now the noble Sahaba, they saw Rasul Ullah (SAW) searching, so some joined him. That was true love as well. What was important to RasulAllah SAW, was important to them as well.
The night fell and still Rasul Ullah (SAW) did not order the army to move on because his beloved wife’s necklace had not been found. He SAW then placed his head on her lap and drifted off to sleep, hoping in the morning light, it would be spotted.
The people complained to the father of Aisha R.A., Sayyidina Abu Bakr R.A., that his daughter had stopped Rasul Ullah (SAW) and the entire army at a water-less place and neither did the people have water with them, what would they do for Fajr??
Let us understand the concern for salaah here.
Abu Bakr R.A. grew angry with his daughter and rushed to scold her, perhaps feeling she was taking advantage of her husband’s soft nature.
Rasul Ullah (SAW) never scolded her, neither did he side with the people but made her feel firmly that he SAW was on her team.
Dawn broke and Fajr time arrived, the people were agitated.
… What happened? …
… … Allah Ta’aala, The Greatest Beloved who cascades mercy on us, revealed the ayah and the law of Tayammum.
“And you do not find any water then resort to Tayammum – find clean soil and rub your faces and hands with it. Allah does not wish to burden you; He only wishes to purify you and to perfect His favor upon you, so that you may be thankful.”
(Surah Al-Maaida: Ayah 6)
Imagine the joy and relief for Sahaba R.A.! Especially when they traveled in the desert.
After this, Sahaba R.A. congratulated the family of Abu Bakr R.A., for being a cause of another blessing on them.
Then guess what happened? The camel of Aisha R.A. moved and her necklace was found!!!
… Did Rasul Ullah (SAW) get irritated with her because it was right there all the time?
… He shared her relief. Imagine how much more Aisha RA’s love grew for he husband after this incident.
How much more harmony there would be in society if we overlook small things and empathize with people?
What if we had a fraction of the patience of the Prophet S.A.W.? How much more a beautiful relationship we would be able to enjoy.
Method of Tayammum:
1) Make niyyah (intention) of performing Tayammum in place of wudhu or ghusal and to read salaah/Quran.
2) Strike the hands on the stone/sand and wipe the entire face from forehead to beneath the chin and from one ear to the other.
3) Strike the stone again and wipe both hands from finger to above the elbow. Use one hand to wipe the other.
Remember: Niyyah, Face & Hands. Done!
For a pictorial illustration of Tayammum, click below:
Lessons from the Story:
- We learn about how much love the Prophet SAW had for Ayesha (RA). The love was so strong that the Rasul Ullah (SAW) stopped a whole army so they can find Ayesha’s necklace. 🙂
- The love the Companions had for Salah.
One would think that in the predicament that they were in (little water), in the middle of the desert, and in enemy territory – that they would worry over the possibility of their death. But they were ACTUALLY worried about their Salah. They were worried that they wont get enough water to pray. Subhanallah!
- The love of the Companions for Rasul Ullah (SAW).
- Allah’s mercy on His believers that He revealed ahkaam of Tayammum to ease the hardship of the Muslims.
We read novels and movies about love that can never match the love between Rasul Ullah (SAW) and his wives. So dear brothers and sisters, learn from this example of Rasul Ullah (SAW) and show your love to your spouses.
Don’t confuse the story with another similar incident where again Ayesha RA lost her necklace. That was the famous incident of the slander against Ayesha R.A. that also led the revelation of important verses in Surah Nuur in which Allah vindicated her.
I hope you enjoyed the story!
If you did, then forward it to your friends and family! 🙂
May Allah fill your marriage with love and happiness!
Irfan Ullah Khan
Marriage Transformation Coach
Happy Muslim Family
Featured Image: Rose Flowers In My Garden
You may be interested in this too: Wonderful Islamic Duas (Prayers) To Increase Love Between Spouses